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‘Assessment of childhood family and attachment patterns resulting from bonding’ – in the context of historic change and stress can often provide insight to coping difficulties in the here and now.  Some are okay with change and adjust quickly, whilst others are more reactive to streeors and lean on partners dependently, or are mixed or they have learned to respond with anger to relational and objections change.  Educating couples on this can assist with problems and opportunities by helping to facilitate them to find new ways to cope and bond as the adult relationship provides a second chance of sorts where bonding, attachment and responses to challenges, internal and external, can be modified and so thus reactions and ultimately personality can be changed, despite the view such things are cemented to childhood experiences.  The most leading scholar in this area, John Bowlby, lends authority to this view, though interventions and assessment must be careful in their examination of early – and often traumatic yet forgotten – experiences resulting due to the propensity of our various unconscious tenancy and generalisability of our vast and various avoidances that have become essentially the formation of current personality from the maternal and familial bonds long since past but yet still in operation in the present between the couple or the individual and those steadfastly fixed to our response to change and management of stress. There are more direct and less intrusive relational interventions which can be implemented to gain a more rapid outcome to problematic relationships and personal disposition, though very often such approaches operate as a means to an end rather than simply being an end in themself due to agency pressures to gain quick outcomes and achieve throughput. The challenge then, given this reality, can be achieved by leading clients to understand the influence of these early adaptations and interplay on the present, by providing them with accelerating take-home psycho-education and homework activities that those seriously at a stage of change can use to address and re-engineer personality in the second chance provided from similarly intimate relations to provide for such a second opportunity as outlined above so as to arrive at a new stage and understanding of how these early dynamics remain with us intact until challenged where necessary.

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